How to spot a decent place to eat




David Whitley looks out for the signs that will save a rumbling stomach from mealtime hell
There are few realisations that are more crushing than when a waiter brings out your meal and you know, just by looking at it, that it’s going to be terrible. Sometimes, when you’re somewhere you don’t know and haven’t a reliable guidebook to consult, you have to take pot luck. You go with somewhere that looks alright without really having a clue what the food will be like. Often you’re lucky, but occasionally you get presented with a concoction where even a few bites to be polite doesn’t seem like an option.

There is, of course, no perfect way of picking the right place to eat. But there are a few ways of narrowing down the options. So here are a few handy rules to live by.

Ignore the touts
If someone is standing outside a restaurant trying to cajole passers-by into coming in, chances are that there’s a reason for the silver-tongued desperation. It’s not always the case, but generally a tout equals a half-arsed meal.

Avoid cartoon characters
If a restaurant has a cartoon character of any description on its sign, you can take it as read that whatever you’re served will be a total atrocity.

Be wary of pictures on the menu
Slightly faded five-year-old picture of the food printed on a plastic menu? It’s probably not going to be great.

Dodge multiple translations
It’s often said that if they have an English language menu or translations in English on the normal menu, it’s not a sign of quality. I don’t stand by this – many really good places have English translations. It’s just pragmatism. What you should look out for is any place that translates into the language of any tourist that might conceivably visit. If the menu is in English, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Arabic and an obscure dialect of Guarani, you are looking at a bona fide tourist trap. With terrible food to match.

Don’t eat near a major station
I’ve said this before. I’m still right – they’re catering for people in a rush and people who will never come back. Steer clear of five in ones: The best kebab shops generally just sell kebabs. Anywhere ‘specialising’ in pizza, kebabs, burgers, curries and southern fried chicken is likely to be a salmonella breeding pen. The same applies to any Indian-Italian-Mexican restaurant.

Keep an eye out for chalkboards Or blackboards as we used to – correctly – call them when I was at school. It’s not a guarantee, but any place where the menu changes sufficiently to warrant specials being written up in chalk at least looks like it cares.

Check where the locals are eating
Again, this doesn’t always hold true, but if a place is full of locals rather than tourists, there’s a decent chance that it relies on quality to get repeat custom.


Got any more tips for picking a good place to eat? Share them by leaving a comment below.

It's also worth reading our RTW health and safety section here

And Shaney Hudson's Top Tips: How to Eat (and Stay Healthy) in India here


 

< Prev   Next >
 

Comments  

 
# Stuart 2011-09-20 11:28
6 months in India. Ill once - and that was after an encounter with some local gin in Cochin, nothing to do with the food. The secret - check out 3 restaurants,quick scan of the menu to see it's in the ballpark, then choose the busiest one.And all of the above....
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
 
 
# Jenny Woolf 2011-09-21 07:21
Very good list David, although the point about the station is not always true. There's a funny little restaurant from the isle of La Reunion just around the corner from Montparnasse station in Paris. It basically operates out of a cupboard and only has a couple of dishes every day but it's fun and everything is home cooked by the delightful owner who looks about 12.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote