To us, a theme park is generally full of rollercoasters and people in big animal costumes. The Chinese, it would appear, have an entirely different idea. Haw Par Villa in Singapore is billed as a Chinese theme park. There are no log flumes or big drops, but there are plenty of weird statues and small wooden men being tortured. It’s an interesting idea, and perhaps one that Alton Towers would do well to take on board.

It was first opened as a tourist attraction in 1938, by the owners of Tiger Balm. There are pagodas, ponds and odd depictions of rats carrying a fallen comrade on a stretcher to explore, but the main reason that anyone visits is to see the tremendously gory Ten Courts of Hell. Anyone labouring under the impression that Buddhism is a nice fluffy belief system will have those ideas wiped out by a trip through this artificial cave. Designed to be a lesson in morality, it’s all about the process people go through when they die. And a series of dioramas spell it out.

The first court is where King Qinguang presides, and he conducts preliminary trials. Those who have displayed virtuous conduct are escorted along a golden bridge to paradise. Anyone who has ever done anything naughty, however, gets to go through one of the other nine courts. And that’s where the fun begins. The punishments meted out by the kings in the courts depend on what your sins are. Prostitutes are thrown into a pool of blood, money lenders with exorbitant interest rates are thrown onto a hill of knives and drug addicts are tied to a red hot pillar and grilled. It starts getting a little harsh when you get into lesser crimes, however. Neglect your parents? Well you’re going to be crushed under a boulder. Cheat during an exam? Prepare for your intestines and organs to be pulled out. Don’t pay your rent? Expect to be pounded by a mallet.

And on it goes, with full visual representation for those who don’t quite get the idea. Someone who was disobedient to his sibling gets ground by a large stone, a chap guilty of ‘ungratefulness’ has his heart cut out and an unfortunate soul who broke ‘written rules and regulations’ is sawn in half. It’s difficult to think of a more enjoyable way of spending a Sunday morning. And if Disneyworld invested in a few disembowellings, I’d be there in a shot...

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